Dear Moms,
It’s okay to have differences.
There are so many different motherhood groups and mothering styles nowadays. When I started on this mom journey seven years ago, there wasn’t nearly the amount of mom judgment and pressure to identify your motherhood tribe than there is today.
Now we have the organic moms, the Paleo moms, the no-sugar moms, the mac & cheese moms, the free-range moms, the helicoptor moms, the homeschooling moms, the anti-vax moms, the pro-vax moms, the natural birth moms, the epidural moms, the breastfeeding moms, the formula moms, the pumping moms, the work-out-of-home moms, the SAHM moms, the DIY Moms, the BUY moms, the Pinterest moms, the Instagram moms, the always put together moms, the wear your workout pants for life moms, the school moms, the yoga moms, the cross-fit moms, the oil moms, the baby-wearing moms, and the list goes on and on.
Being a normal mom has become a complicated mess and the pressure to be perfect is getting out of control. To make a long story short, we are all trying to find a place to fit in as mothers. If we are all honest, parenting can be lonely, and since it feels like the world of motherhood is begging us to choose a mom corner, we think we have to. Then we feel we have to argue when other moms feel differently on a subject than we do because our culture perpetuates mom judgment and shaming.
But, what if we are all more similar than we think?
What if there is beauty in mothering differences?
What if we chose to listen first and just love each other simply because we are all trying our hardest to raise small babes into amazing humans?
What if we assumed the best about each other instead of jumping to judgments?
What if we spent more time trying to find our sameness and our humanity in motherhood rather than focusing on what separates us?
What if we spent more time trying to find our sameness and our humanity in motherhood rather than focusing on what separates us?
What if we chose to stand up and say “No more” to our culture that is trying to pit us moms against each other?
What if we joined together as Real Mothers who chose to cheer each other on simply because we are all doing our best and because we can surely identify with one thing…we are all moms. Aren’t you done with mom judgment? Do we have to argue over vaccination?
Do we have to argue over breastfeeding? Do we have to argue over being a SAHM vs WAHM vs work-out-of-home mom? I don’t think we do. We can laugh together at our crazy mom stories of how our kids said the cutest thing after getting caught making a mess that will take an hour to clean.
We can identify because we are tapped out, tired, and in the trenches of motherhood and yet will still wake up to do it again the next day simply because that’s what Real Mothers do.
We can identify because we are tapped out, tired, and in the trenches of motherhood and yet will still wake up to do it again the next day simply because that’s what Real Mothers do. We can support each other to do our best even though we may do momming a little different.
We don’t have to be mean mothers. We don’t have to choose sides.
Being a mother doesn’t have to be an extension of your junior high experience with mean girls that ganged up on each other. We don’t have to be mean mothers. We don’t have to choose sides. There is beauty in our differences and even sweeter friendships.
Looking around me, I see that some of my very best friend’s mom very different than me. That’s okay. In fact, we’ve learned a lot from each other over the years. I invite you and even kind of beg you to do the same.
xo, Kendra
