I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel like I have multiple personalities motherhood disorder. It’s like I play Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and honestly, I can feel major mom guilt about it. It’s like I’m a ping-pong ball going back and forth between one kind of mother to another and I’m sure my kids sometimes feel like they don’t know which mommy they are going to get. Six-thirty a.m. mom looks a lot different than 9:30 pm mom.
Does anyone else feel that way?
Around 6:30am in the morning I am snuggly/sweet mommy. The kids wake up, and I give them a big hug and smooch their faces until they say “staaaap it”!
At 6:40am I am the perfect mom. I get everyone’s breakfast and make sure they have their lunches packed with a cute little note inside. Well, that was a bit of a lie. I don’t write notes. I do think about it though.
Around 6:45am I become the anxious mom. “Oh, my goshhh….hurry up dudes!!!! Get your clothes on, brush your teeth, brush your hair..we are running out of time!!!!” My anxiety starts to fly through the roof because somehow the perfect outfit we laid out the night before is the most uncomfortable and painful clothing known to man. At this point I am contemplating popping a Xanax except for that, I don’t have a prescription for that. Dang, it.
Around 7:00am I am sergeant mom. This is the time where I become an army officer type human-mom and begin sternly ask if my kids have everything they need to survive at school. “Do you have your Jacket?” Check. “Do you have the reading log I forgot to sign five days in a row?” Check. “Do you have your lunch?” Check. “Do you have your backpack?” Check.
Around 7:15am I am the taxi mom. I don’t need to go into this. I calculated the hours I spend doing morning and afternoon drop-offs for my three kids, and it comes out to about 40 hours a month. I wanted to puke a little.
Around 9:00am I become the working mom. I am focused. I am serious. I have goals. I am motivated to take over over the world in a Real Mother kind of way. Slay all day.
Around 2:00pm I am back to Taxi mom again.
Around 3:00pm I am snuggly/sweet mom again. My kids are home, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Around 4:15pm I am anxious mom again. So much homework and my brain can barely process this 2nd-grade curriculum. Sending up a prayer for my daughter to not have my bad math genes.
Around 5:00pm I am the Mad Mom. Oh my word, if my son could not destroy everything in the house that would be great. If my daughters could not leave everything everywhere in the house that would also be great. I wish I could tell you that I didn’t raise my voice at my kids, but that would be a lie.
Around 5:30pm I am the “I’m Sorry mom.” Ugh..I hate that I yell at my kids when I get frustrated and overwhelmed. So, I sit down with my kids and tell them I shouldn’t have acted like that and ask for forgiveness. I feel like I do this cycle every day. Literally… ev-er-y day.
Around 6:00pm I am the chef mom. I whip up something super special like chicken nuggets (organic? nah.), mac & cheese, or a quesadilla. Some nights I switch it up and spend an hour creating something super healthy and nearly gourmet out of the kindness of my soul. Which leads me to the next versions of my mom self that you will find below.
Around 6:15pm I am the annoyed mom. If everyone could just eat their freaking dinner, I could stop pulling my hair out. Dear three year old, please stop ninja chucking your food. Dear 5-year-old, you do not need to cry about the veggies I want you to eat. Just eat them. Dear 7-year-old, please stop contorting your face in disgust because you hate the dinner I made that wasn’t chicken nuggets, mac & cheese, or a quesadilla. Thanks.
Around 7:00pm I am sergeant mom once again. Have you taken a bath? Check. Have you brushed your teeth? Check. “Have you picked out your clothes for tomorrow?” Check. “Have you put your pajamas on? Check. Are you in bed?” Check.
Around 7:45pm I am snuggly/sweet mom once again. I tuck my kids into bed, rub their backs, sing them a few songs, pray. I feel pretty good about myself as a mother.
Around 8:00pm I am annoyed/mad mom once again. Dear two-year-old, please stay in your bed and go to sleep. Dear five-year-old, for-the-love, please stay in your bed and go to sleep. Dear 7-year-old, ohhhhh myyyyy worrrrddddd, please stay in your bed and go to sleep before psycho mom comes out.
Around 8:30pm I am cleaning mom.
Around 9:30pm I am the mentally, physically, and emotionally tapped out mom. I can barely move except for to tip my head back to sip my glass of merlot and brain out to an episode of This is Us with my husband who has also been playing all types of parenting roles along side me.
In the end, I love being a mom. But I never imagined how many sides of my personality would come out in a matter of 24 hours every-single-day as a mother. I’m sure you didn’t either.
Sometimes I get scared thinking about which version of myself from my multiple personality motherhood disorder my kids will remember. I hope it’s the snuggly/sweet mom. But the reality is, my kids will also not forget annoyed/mad mom and anxious mom and drill sergeant mom too.
Maybe you think about this too?
Here’s what gives me hope. I know for a fact that we as mothers all go through these multiple personalities in a day. I know I’m not alone in feeling this way. That means that if I’m not alone, neither are you. So…I guess this is what makes you and I real human mothers. Let’s give ourselves a little grace and maybe a piece of dark chocolate for doing a pretty dang good job at this motherhood thing.