Conquering the grocery store with your kids….yeah right

Why is grocery shopping with kids so tough and why are we still doing it? There are so many time saving mom hacks like buying groceries online and simply picking them up, or better yet having them shipped, why is piling your kids in a metal cart through aisles of fruits, veggies, and bread still a thing? Shouldn’t this method of filling up your fridge for the week be archaic or do all moms secretly like the torture?

grocery shopping with kids is not fun and can be really hard for mothers at any stage.Heres the truth, I do not enjoy grocery shopping with kids, it is not in anyway relaxing to me and, yet for some reason, I have refused to give it up. It has to be a control thing because, for the life of me, I never want to go and when I do, I always seem to have my children in tow. I have these little self-talk moments on the way. “Get in and out!” “It will be fine, you only need like, five things.” Maybe it’s this crazy idea that I think I am accomplishing something by making it out of the grocery store with everyone still breathing.

Mommas, wouldn’t it be nice if there was a grocery store greeter at the exit who’s sole mission was to hand you a shot, give you a high five and say something like “good job, you made it out alive.” I mean, I will even take a nod of solidarity; any confirmation that this grocery shopping business with kids is mentally draining and that I’m not alone in feeling this way.

Confession, today I went against my better judgment of ordering groceries online and picking them up and ended up doing the dreaded trip to the grocery store with my kids. Now that my brain is fried, I am wondering why I chose to do this.

Here’s the deal, I’ve done my fair share of gathering food for the week with toddlers, so moms, I can relate. But let me tell you, shopping with an 8 and 12 year is still frustrating.

The Lord has blessed me with children who have somehow forgotten what “no” means when we enter the grocery store. –And, I know for a fact that they can physically see my mouth moving and forming the word “noooo,” but it seems they have suddenly gone deaf.

It is almost like we are playing a game show called “how long will it take to wear mom down”? And suddenly my son and daughter that typically struggle to get along are now forming some type of sibling gang and have even become best friends.

Heaven help me!

As we walk into the store, I have to pull them both aside gently, bend down to meet their eyes, stare into their soul with my laser beam precision “mom look” and ask them to, “please quit play-wrestling and please stop kicking each other for the next few minutes, Ok?”

I take a deep breath and grab my cart, here we go!

Aisle by aisle I snagged what was needed and forgot about things I wanted like snacks for myself (of course) in the midst of the chaos. My quick plan to get in and out was slowed down by the “Mom can we have this?” that happened approximately 5 billion times or more and that was just within the first 15 seconds of entering the grocery store. They are smart. So dang smart. They know that eventually, I will cave because the asking turns to begging which turns into the occasional emotional meltdown situation we all as mothers dread. Honestly, I would consider myself a strong woman, but put me up against two kids in a grocery store and I will lose every time. The crazy thing is, I am not a push over, I am actually probably too rigid on some things. So, what is it about grocery shopping with kids?

I think it’s payback. Yup. Payback. I distinctly remember sneaking all kinds of totally random things into the grocery cart when I was little. When my mom would check out, she would be laughing at how clever I thought I was and then promptly have the person checking us out, put it all to the side. I think I just got tired of hearing my mom say “no,” so I quit asking and would drop things in when she wasn’t looking. Thank goodness my kids haven’t figured that out yet!

Once the grocery shopping was finished, and I completed the check- out process, all I had left to do was make it to the car. I start making my way out the double-doors and guess who has to use the bathroom? Nope, not me, the 8 year old. I swear he has the best timing, it’s become comical. I take a deep slow breath and ask him, “can you hold it, honey?” He never says yes, yet I keep asking just in case I might win the potty lottery and he can, in fact, hold it. After the pit stop (my least favorite part) we finally made it out the door. Yay! I start loading the car and dreaming about writing this blog post and how beautiful it would be if a grocery greeter did in-fact hand me a shot and give me a high-five at the end of this grocery store trip with my kids. We know that’s not gonna happen, so, coffee stop on the way home!!!!

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Riane Hubbart
Hi I'm Riane! Wife, mom of two, clothing stylist and Kendra's side-kick. We laugh a lot.
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